유학, 책, 여행 - 기록

A therapist who has always lived in financially comfortable circumstance gives a book on self-care to her working-class client, who has always lived in financially precarious circumstances. The therapist suggests that she try some of the strategies in the book for homework. The therapist, who has read the book, thinks that the examples of self-care, such as getting oneself a massage, going out for a nice dinner, or taking a weekend retreat to a lovely setting, all seem like wonderful ideas, and she has been pushing her client to engage in more self-care. Her client returns the book the following week, never commenting on the fact that each of these suggestions are financially beyond her means, something the therapist has never taken into account because of a failure to explore her social class privilege. She tells her therapist that the book was “interesting.” Soon thereafter, the client leaves therapy by simply not showing up again and not responding to communications from the therapist. Several years later, when she is again struggling, she seeks out therapy and carefully searches for someone who grew up poor. “That other therapist had no idea of the value of a dollar,” she tells her subsequent therapist. Privilege unexamined can lead to failures of empathy and loss of relationship. 

From [ Feminist Therapy, Brown 2018 ]

주옥같은 구절이 너무 많아서, 책이 온통 형광줄이 그어져있다.

사실 위에 본문은 feminist therapy 자체와 관련이 있다기 보다는, 내가 한창 관심있는 다른 큰 주제인 privilege study가 feminist therapy에 이렇게 긴밀하게 연결되어 책에 소개된다는 사실이 신기해서...ㅎㅎㅎ 역시 파다보면 관심사는 한곳으로 모이는건가 싶기도 하고... 즐거운 시간들이다.

봄방학이 시작되었다.

주말엔 retreat 다녀오고, 어제는 왕복 5시간 운전해서 근처 주립공원에 다녀왔다.

1박2일 혹은 당일치기 여행으로 refresh를 갈음하고, 밀렸던 책 읽기와 paper 작성을 하기에 좋은 기회이다.

break가 끝나면, 학회를 다녀오고 4월이 지나가면 이제 또 여름방학이다.

4월 한달 동안 방학 준비 잘 해서, 방학도 재밌게 알차게 놀고 또 성과가 있는 시간이 될 수 있길!

As they begin to notice inequalities in their communities of which they were not previously aware, including the ways that white supremacist patriarchal violence structures some of their closest relationships. Many describe family dinners marred by sorrows over a huge fight that began with the telling of a sexist or racist joke. As bell hooks states:

I have not forgotten the day a student came to class and told me: "We take your class. We learn to look at the world from a critical standpoint, one that considers race, sex, and class. And we can't enjoy life anymore." Looking out over the class... I saw students nodding their heads... and I saw for the first time there can be, and usually is, some degree of pain involved in giving up old ways of thinking and knowing and learning new approaches. I respect that pain. And I include recognition of it now when I teach, that is to say, I teach about shifting paradigms and talk about the discomfort it can cause (42-43).

Magnet, S., & Diamond, S. (2010). Feminist Pedagogy Meets Feminist Therapy: Teaching Feminist Therapy in Women's Studies. Feminist Teacher, 21(1), 21-35.

도서관에서 논문을 보다 주책맞게 눈물이 핑 돌았다. 

부모님과 싸우며 소리 지르던 시간들이 생각나고

사람들에게 실망하고 모든 것들에 환멸을 느끼던 시기도,

무엇보다 가장 사랑하던 것들에 가지게 된 배신감까지도.

더 이상 대화 할 수 없는 그리운 사람이 있고, 좋았던 추억도 있지만,

그리고 지금 이렇게 좋은 환경에서 공부 할 수 있어 감사하지만

갈증이 난다. 아주 많이.

그런데 나만 그런게 아니었구나, 아주 많은 사람들이 나랑 비슷한 과정을 거치고 있구나. 그런 안도감도 든다. 

모든 감정들이 복합적으로 뒤얽혀서 앞으로 나아가는 힘이 되게 한다.

요즘 이곳은, 낮이 참 많이 길어졌다.